Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Coming Soon: 30th (arguable) Anniversary Issue!

(Above: White Buffalo Gazette Vol. Frim Fram Sauce, No. Gib Can Vote, May 1997. Drawing by Eric Schaller.)

Maximum Traffic is preparing a new issue of the White Buffalo Gazette.

Bruce Chrislip published the first City Limits Gazette in November of 1980. So, if you consider CLG and WBG to constitute a continuum (consideration being a basic human right), this will be the thirtieth anniversary issue.

And that's not all you have to celebrate. Harry Stephen Keeler was born November 3, 1890. Mark your calendar.

Cover by Chad Woody. My colored pencils.

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Attention, Persons of Quality!

Three volumes of nobility have arrived in one fell swoop, to impart an aristocratic grace and humor to our strife-pocked world.

In the second action-suffused issue of NOBLE HEAD FUNNIES, Mr. Kitty Fluff and his funny friends must fend off an alien invasion with no weapon but--a comfortable couch! Plus, the comic sensations of the 1939 World's Fair, Trylon and Perisphere!

In the third thrill-packed number, Pinkerton Puss and his hard-boiled homeys extinguish "The Mystery of the Black Fire"! Plus, designer jeans for celestial bodies!

In the fourth fun-tastic installment, Alfred Hitchcock and the Three Perplexicators excavate "The Mystery of the Musical Hole"! Plus, the Miniature Wheelbarrow returns!

And watch for the Extra Special More Keelerian Than Usual Issue, in which our Himalayan Hero visits the Land of Black Squares! Featuring Confucius and John Brown, together for the first time!

Reserve your copies today before the Nobs on Nob Hill grab them all!

And don't worry! Every delightful issue is still available from that old crusty guy at the cigar store! He'll just have to dig for 'em.

NOBLE HEAD FUNNIES is available at:

And also from me!

Miniature Wheelbarrow Comics

Those who haul enormous loads
can scarcely fit upon the roads.

I never have to face this sorrow.
I have a miniature wheelborrow.

Others would grim fardels bear.
I swerve about without a care.

I slip tween chocolate and vanilla.

I slide twixt Charybdis and Scylla.

They say the road to Heaven's Gate
is very narrow and most strait.

But let it be however narrow,
it surely will accept my barrow.

Monday, January 18, 2010


Our father, whom we called "Big Ted,"
spent all his life collecting thread.

One day he died, and in his will
he left his thread to brother Bill.

A subtle malaise seized my mind.
Murd'rous thought in thread entwined!

I twisted up Bill's neck with thread
and pulled it tight 'til he lay dead.

I sliced him up in several chunks,
the which I hid beneath our bunks.

I would have thought that, post decease,
he'd rest, in pieces, but in peace.

But no! He rose up from the dead,
his mind on just one thing: his thread.

He'd got from somewhere four arms more
and spun a web beneath the floor.

He pulled me deep inside his nest.
You wouldn't want to hear the rest.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

The Great Snail

Vaster than empires and more slow slides the Great Snail.

When the Snail first came no tale tells. Since time immemorial our people have recorded its presence and measured its speed.

It has moved closer to our village by two inches each year. In the time of our children, or our children's children, it will finally engulf us and our way of life.

Or perhaps it will change its course and avoid us.

Who can say?

We bend to the will of the gods in this as in all things.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

The Book of Job Comics

Though devils danced on his tongue nine to five, six days a week, Job never lost his faith.

His wife left him, his kids became drunken and dissipated, prophets prophesied doom, yet he endured.

Eventually, after a prolonged bout of herpes and boils, Job found that God himself had opened pony rides in town.

His wicked neighbors looked on in envy, God himself gave Job an all-day pass.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Two Bats

Two bats went for a walk.

They came across three lollipops!

"I should get two lollipops," said the large bat, "for I am five days your senior."

"No, I should get two lollipops," said the small bat, "for my first name begins with the letter M."

How did the two bats divide the three lollipops evenly?

They made lollipop sauce--and so can you!