Showing posts with label Edward Parker Bolman. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Edward Parker Bolman. Show all posts

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Lars Van Stook

We always took Lars Van Stook seriously while under the shadow of his great brow.

But--

When he was in the next county--



Our natural independence asserted itself. Why should we cowtow to Lars merely because, due to some freak of nature, he had been born with an overhang in the cranium department?

We decided to trip him up with a stretched rope.



Upside down, Lars Van Stook no longer seemed at all threatening, and we set about removing his brains with melon scoops.



Lars, bereft of his thinking equipment, has now found true happiness and contentment as a canoe.

And as for us--

Life is one long camping holiday!

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

A Confession



I broke into a ruined gatehouse in Tarzana, the only extant structure on the Edgar Rich Burroughs ranch.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Spider Cow!

Spider Cow! Spider Cow!
Knows how to do what a spider knows how.

Is she strong? Listen, Bud!
She chews radioactive cud!

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Althea

Once again, boyfriends came around Althea's home by the gross.


This time, she decided Mitchell Moonhead possessed the strongest appeal.


Most days of the year he was idle. But, when the Moon chose to vacation, Mitchell was called in to substitute.


After Mitchell had brought her 12 boxes of chocolate and an envelope of Pop Rocks, she decided to let him go all the way with her.


No sooner had Mitchell removed his cotton Dockers than he received a telegram.


The Moon had been called away for a medical emergency. Mitchell's head was required immediately. Off it flew!


Althea sat down to an evening of pinochle with Mitchell's torso. A knock came at the door.


It was the Moon! It had looked down upon her and become smitten. It had faked a medical emergency to call Mitchell away.


The Moon took over Mitchell's body, and soon convinced Althea of its superior charms.

Mitchell looked down helplessly as his date succumbed to the blandishments of the suave satellite.


Althea married the Moon in a simple ceremony.


Unfortunately, her new husband tended to capture oceans in his gravitational pull, often resulting an an inundated abode.


When she complained to her spouse, he only beat her with his thornbush.


She divorced him with one powerful stroke of her golf club, and the Moon hasn't dared visit Earth since.


Mitchell was finally relieved of his celestial duty. But, he tended to sulk moodily whenever he ran into Althea at Club Bacon.